Why I Stopped Blogging

Happy Sunday! Wow September has been a LONG month! It's been almost exactly 4 months since I walked away from my blog. Firstly, there were many reasons why I walked away and stayed away for so long:

· No matter what I put out, no one responded. People who were so-called friends, couldn't congratulate me or even tell me what my latest post was about. That hurt me the most because the very people who claimed to support me, couldn’t tell you a thing about my brand. It felt like I was just talking to myself, therefore wasting my time and money.

· I was trying to decide if Fashion Design and Photography was for me.

· I was mourning my grand aunt (my family suffered two other deaths since then).

· I needed to focus on school.

· I was catching hell on my job.

· Family drama

· Both of my dogs died this month.

· I literally had a mental breakdown because I was doing two of the toughest online courses I've started thus far, and had to redo MANY assignments.

· I wasn't getting anything out of blogging if I couldn't get approval from anyone. I felt like I had nothing of value to say because people didn’t seem to value it.

· And the one I’m really not proud of, I had a suicide attempt. My best friend in Texas actually saved my life by alerting my mother.

The failure of my career as a fashion designer really made me question my self-worth. I felt like the universe was rejecting me. Like life would be better without me, and no one would miss me. Even when I announced that I was leaving my blog, NO ONE tried to talk me into keeping it. No one pushed me to continue, no one said they’d miss reading my posts. I felt like I didn’t belong. And that to try anything else was pointless because I’d just fail at that too.

I had a lot to deal with emotionally, but I must say that I am in a much better place now. I have finished my transition to natural hair (that in itself is giving me problems, but more on that in another post). I'm in a relationship (4 months to be exact in two days), I started going to church again, I stood up for myself on my job and now my supervisor and evil co-worker are actually afraid of me, I'm an aunt (my brother had a baby), my own personal therapy has been going well and I recently started my internship and will begin seeing clients one-on-one this week!

I'm trying to stay focused on my dreams and goals. And this time, I’m not going to take a vote on my dreams. That was the message today in church and my driving force for this post. So to whoever is reading this, I am doing this for me this time. I would like for you to take this journey with me, and hopefully we can encourage each other. But I do happen to be talking to myself right now, that’s fine too. I am the captain of this ship! And no matter long it takes for me to get to my destination, I am going to enjoy the ride.